Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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