this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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