dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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