why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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