you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
