So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
