All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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