I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
