mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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