Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
