so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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