ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
