I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
