So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
