so that wasnt chicken after all
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
FUCK WHALES
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
