Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
