roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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