all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
