How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
