Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
