CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
