this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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