I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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