I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
