bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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