I puked a lego.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
