Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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