I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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