I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
