I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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