Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
