omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
