my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
