We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
