I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
