that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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