So drunk its hurt
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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