Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
