It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
