had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
