Plan B is the new Plan A
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
