Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i now understand why vodka
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize