I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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