I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
