some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize