I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
