Slut skills are useful in every country.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
