I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
