I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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