redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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