her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
