just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
