It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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