): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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