You just made me feel so damn special
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize