thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize