good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
