She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
