I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
