That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
