so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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