***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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