Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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