Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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